Lust For Freelance

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Ask Freg

Ask Freg

Welcome one, welcome all! It's time to ask our resident know-it-all some of those burning questions! Well then, Freg, are you ready to answer these quandries?
Freg: I guess so.
Hey! What's with that lacklustre attitude?
Freg: Well, it seems no one really has any questions so far.
Well, to start us off, I'VE got some questions!
Freg: Oh, you do? Well, why didn't you say so? Fire away.

imabubble's questions

I'll make this quick. How old are you?
Freg: Is that a trick question? YOU write this comic.
Yeah, well. Just answer!
Freg: I'm 346 currently. However, much of the beginning of the story takes place in the past so obviously I'm younger than that during those parts.
Wow, you're old!
Freg: Elves are known for their longevity.
Well, I guess that answers my next question! So, you're an elf?
Freg: I am one indeed. Couldn't you tell? do I tell?
Freg: Well, I'm not ugly like a human or have a tattoo on my cheek like a demon. But the easiest way to tell is by looking at my ears. They run along my head rather than sticking out and they're thinner and more elegant than a demon's ears. Also, I have prettier eyes than any human or demon. (Hahaha)
I see.... Well, thanks for answering my questions, Freg!
Freg: What, that's it?
Well, that's all from me, anyway.

Fidgey's question

Dear Freg,
What is your favorite type of sandwich and why?
Your Loyal Fan,
Freg: Sandwich? Well, the bread makes the sandwich. If the bread's no good, then there's really no point. I also like it when there's salad in there - it makes it nice and crunchy.

Evilshedude's questions

Other than your obvious beauty and long ears, what other anatomical differences are there from elves and humans? That is to you have a heart? Is it located in your chest?
Freg: The biology of humans and elves are pretty much the same, besides the obvious facial structure differences. For instance, though Elvish blood is red when oxygenated so it looks the same as Human blood, it is imbued with a chemical known as Clapserose (term coined by me) which rejuvinates tissue. Because of this miraculous chemical, Elves can live up to 5 times longer than humans can. As for a heart, I'll say one beats in my chest, even if a few might disagree. (Ha ha ha)
Are your other (ahem) anatomical parts in the right places?
Freg: (Ha ha ha) Wouldn't you like to know!
Um, one last question, more about biology this time I guess. Do elves lay eggs or are they born?
Freg: They are born. Although...I guess "born" isn't quite the right word. If a couple wants a child, they splice their DNA together, and raise the child in a tube for the first 12 or so years of its life. I was never very interested in children. Needless to say, since we all live so long, only one in five hundred couples ever end up with a child. No one can birth children the "human way" because of the magic most of us have injected into our systems so there aren't any "accidents" or whatever you might call them.

Knifehug's question

Dear Freg,
tell me, is it true that elves have completely hairless bodies? (Besides from the hair on your hair of course)
Yours pervertedly,
Freg: Now, where did you hear that? Maybe we look hairless, but really it's a matter of hygeine and upkeep. For example, elves grow facial hair naturally, but most of them wouldn't be caught dead with it.

Khielira Raelm's questions

why are you so interested in Mohei?
Freg: Well, for one thing, he's got some very powerful and ancient demon blood. After some research, I found that his father is likely to be the oldest known demon of the Weig clan. Because the bloodline weakens with each generation (unless special precautions are taken) he is a rare opportunity for my research. But also he's just so easy to manipulate. (Ha ha ha) You have to love people like that.
And this might be rude but, why haven't you pounced him (Mohei) and had your wicked way with him?
Freg: My wicked way? Why, whatever do you mean? (snigger) But the poor demon. I'd confuse him so much...he needs to find out what I mean on his own.

Rubyhawk's questions

Dear Freg,
Aren't you worried that Mohei reads the Ask Freg page? You talk about him like he's an object.
Also, do elves have university to study science and stuff? Or did you teach yourself how to do research in a lab?
With love, RubyHawk
Freg: I treat him like an object? Why, that's heartless of me. I thought I treated him at least like an acquaintance! I'm not worried that he reads my stuff, though. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a computer.
We have universities. I taught at one for a stint, but it wasn't really worth my time. The students goof off more than study. As for my education, I am indeed self-taught.

Shiori Tsumi and co

Hi, there! Shiori Tsumi here...I have my own question for Freg, but first...I wonder if he would mind answering a much more intelligent one from my dear elfie, Reka.
Freg: Sure, why not?
Reka: *rolls eyes* Yes, well...clearly, you are intelligent, considering your interest in the genetics of Mohei, and his ancestry which may be of no uncertain importance to you. However, on the note of these genes... you recall the gene you have named yourself that exists within elf blood that rejuvinates us? *points to her own ears for clarification* Technology has not become as leading an industry as I would like here yet, but I have been experimenting with it on my own. I must ask your own honest opinion on performing a small bit of what may be considered alchemy, combining the advancing technology with a pure essence of the gene found within elven blood. Mad science? Genius science? Or just plain mad?
Freg: Science is science! As long as you find youself a good patron, I say you're more than good to go. I'd tell you to be careful, but what's a good advancement without a few happy mistakes along the way?
Shiori: ...My question pales in intelligence to hers. I just want to say this: Freg, your hair is HELLA pretty. How do you keep it so nice-looking? Or do all elves just naturally have pretty hair?
Freg: Elves are more like humans than most of us would admit. We have our bad hair and our good hair. However, since most of us revere beauty and youth, we take great pains in preserving our image, and that includes any kind of grooming. I usually tend to forget myself in my work and not pay too much attention to my looks, so I'm not very popular with the more shallow crowd. I guess you're in the minority if you think my hair is pretty. As for how we take care of our hair, most use a combination between chemical compounds and magic, I suppose.
Thank you so much for your time! Shiori Tsumi
Freg: Anytime.

Rob's question

Who is your favorite sailor scout?
Freg: Sailor Neptune.

Shiori Tsumi and co, cont'd

I know I just asked Freg something, but a small argument's coming up with me and a certain mad scientist elf I know, Monique. (And I use the term 'mad scientist' in the best way possible...) What sort of crime would an elf have to commit to be banished from their clan or family? What is the punishment for murder in elven society?
Freg: An elf can do any number of things to get ostracized from society. The biggest 'cause these days is committing a social faux-pas, such as trying to birth children or grow a beard. Elves don't really like weirdos who don't follow the normal trends. I'm pretty borderline...but no one's come after me so far because I'm such a genius, ha ha ha. Oh, and the punishment for murder is to be locked up in a certain place forever. We don't speak of that place much...its location is a secret as far as I can tell. But really, they wouldn't do that to me.
Monique: Also, is a mental breakdown considered a breakdown if your perception is much clearer afterwards, or was my dad right when he said that it's a breakdown if you're mostly incapable of performing many routine tasks for a short period of time, regardless of the result? Or what if DURING the breakdown, everything SEEMS to be clearer?
Freg: I'd call a mental breakdown something that happens in your head due to stress that changes your mind--for the better or not--forever. Heh, I'm no psychologist, though.
Shiori: ....Also, she and a friend who is unwilling to be named-says she has her dignity- are working on a special elf-demon-something else unholy hybrid as a killing machine, through mad science that probably violates many laws of nature. He is CURRENTLY a perfect killing machine, but his mind is unstable, and he is reluctant to take orders from anyone. In short, if he isn't restrained, he runs wild and kills everything. They likely need the support of the Empirial Court to find the funding to complete him entirely. If they put the right spin on this guy's purpose, do you believe they would GIVE these crazy bitches the funding they need?
Freg: An Elf/Demon hybrid is the LAST thing those stingy bastards would want. If I were you, I wouldn't go around advertizing the biological experiments you're doing. Elves value the secrets of their bodies, and to crossbreed with anything is considered sacrilege, for lack of a better word. Sounds interesting to me, though.
Thanks so much! Talk ta ya later! -Shiori Tsumi (and co)
Freg: Be very careful...

Pachi's questions

If Freg's a magical genius smart like elf dude... why'd he mispell 'hybrid'?
Imabubble: Oh...I guess this one's for me! Well, you see, I am kind of a dunderhead when it comes to spacial relation on a keyboard. And I'm the dunderhead who misspelled 'hybrid.' Freg just dictates to me and I type--if you really want to go there.
Freg: Like I have time to type all my stuff up.
Do you like cheese?
Freg: I don't care for it, but it goes well with wine and apples sometimes.
One word: Yaoi?
Freg: It sounds like a demon word.
Or: Yuri?
Freg: Isn't that someone's name?
*waves* How are you today? 8D
Freg: Eh. Could be better. Little stressed, but I've also got stuff to look forward to.
What do you think of hugs?
Freg: Haha, do humans do that? It sounds really cheezy.
Should I leaveth yew alone nao?
Freg: If you want to. It's not like I have anything more important to do.

Rubyhawk's questions con't

What is your favourite food?

Freg: Green apples.

Akira's question

Dear Freg, Would you ever have babies with Mohei? And if you ever do have you think that they will be pretty? (I think Mohei is so adorable XD)
Freg: Lord, no! On both counts.

Pachi's question (cont'd)

In response to Akira's most recent question: Who would be the mommy? *has mental images* 8D
Freg: That question doesn't deserve an answer. But if it's motherly figures you're looking towards, don't look at me.

Akira's questions (cont'd)

Dear Freg, What would you do if Mohei was stolen from you by slave traders?
Freg: Weeellll, I'd probably go after him and kill the slave traders. If he couldn't take care of himself, that is. I need his strength, and he does what I tell him to do most of the time, so we make a pretty good team.

Do you have any birthmarks of any sort? Does Mohei have any other birthmarks other than the one on his face?
Freg: I don't have any birthmarks, but I guess my distinguishing feature is the fact that my face is permanently wrinkled on my eyebrow and there's nothing I can do about it. Mohei has a birthmark on his hip somewhere. I'm pretty sure his clan tattoo isn't a birthmark - demons go through some sort of religious ceremony when they're very little and that's how they get the clan tattoos. I still have to do more research on them, though.

If you had to choose, Mohei or chocolate?

Freg: I would choose Mohei. You know, you can only enjoy chocolate for a limited time, and Mohei is just so fun all the time.

What happens if you rub Mohei's ears?

Freg: Let's see...his face turns red and he twitches and yells at me. I guess they're quite sensitive, which doesn't really make sense to me, seeing as they're such giant monstrosities. Oh well, my understanding of demon physiology is somewhat lacking, which is why I do these kinds of experiments in the first place. Thank you for suggesting it.

What's Mohei's favourite food?

Freg: He likes meat, sometimes raw. I've been serving it to him cooked, though. Raw meat makes me a little sick inside. Eughhh.

If you had to chose, coffee or sweets?

Freg: Coffee. I don't really enjoy sweets all that much, and I enjoy being able to stay up all night to work due to the caffeine.

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Freg: What's a giraffe? And what's a refrigerator?

What would you do, if I randomly glomped you?

Freg: I suppose I'd probably try to peel you off of me. I don't really know, not many people try to "glomp" me.

Ask Freg a question!